Halloween aka fanfic 8
by hollybridgetpeppermint
Summary: Another holiday: It's Halloween now, and...but I won't give too much away. You'll just have to read it and see...
1. Chapter 1: A Bootiful Day

**Chapter One: A Boo-tiful Day**

"Good morning, Artemis!" said a voice. Artemis stirred. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but he was too tired to place it. "Come on, lazybones! Get up!" He groaned and turned over, pulling the covers over his head. There was a creak, and the door swung open. "Come on! Let's go! We have to get you ready!" said Holly, coming in. "Up! Up!" She pulled the covers off of him.

"Ready for what?" Artemis asked blearily. Holly didn't answer. She was bustling around the room, opening curtains, letting in as much light as possible. Artemis groaned and pulled the covers back on. Holly heard the rustling. "Oh, no you don't!" she said. She came over and pulled the covers right back off. Then she punched him.

"Ow! What was that for?" Artemis said indignantly. Holly grinned. "That was to wake you up." Artemis sighed. "Well, it worked, didn't it?" Holly said. "Yes," said Artemis. "I suppose it did." Holly went over to Artemis' computer. "Don't touch that!" he told her, alarmed. She paid no attention and logged on. "Hey!" he said. "How did you know my password?" She twisted around to look at him. "Guess," she said, then returned to clicking around, muttering to herself. Artemis thought for a moment, then it came to him. "Foaly!" he said. Then he rolled his eyes. Holly didn't answer. "How do you do this again?" she mumbled, apparently to herself. "Let's see…oh, there it is!" Artemis frowned. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Putting on some music," said Holly. "Makes the room more cheerful. Now, let's see…how about…Britney Spears?" Artemis moaned. "You can't be serious," he said. "You're right," said Holly cheerfully. "I'm not. I hate Britney Spears. Hmmm…oh, here. StarDuzt! Not bad for human music."

Artemis did something he'd only done three times in his life—he looked puzzled. "What?" he said, confused. Holly looked over, and, seeing the look on his face, pumped her fist in the air. "Yes!" she said. "What?" said Artemis. "I'm witnessing a world record here," Holly told him. "The great Artemis Fowl Junior looking puzzled. Oh, where is that helmet cam when I need it?" Artemis glared, then rolled his eyes and looked away. Just then, something began coming from the computer speakers. It sounded like an alternately high and low buzzing, and had something accompanying it that could have been a person screaming at the top of their lungs if it wasn't coming from the computer. "Uh-oh," said Artemis, getting out of bed. "I better fix it." "What do you mean?" asked Holly. She stopped dancing and came over. Artemis looked at her, confused. He hadn't noticed she'd been dancing. "I mean," he told her testily, "that the computer is having trouble." "No, it's not," said Holly. "What do you call that then?" said Artemis. "It's StarDuzt, silly," Holly said, looking at him as if he were insane. It took Artemis' brain a moment to register this. "You mean that is supposed to be music?" he said. "Yeah, what else?" she asked. He sighed and came over. "That is not music," he told her. "That is someone shouting and some sort of buzzing." "It's electric guitar," said Holly. "Well, it is still not music," he said. He came over and pressed stop on the music player. "Let's see…ah, here we are." He clicked Play, and Mozart floated out of the speakers. Artemis relaxed and sighed. Ah, that was better. "Well?" he asked Holly. No answer. He looked over. She had her hands in her ears and an expression of revulsion and disgust on her face. He came over and shook her shoulder. "Holly?" he said. She turned, without taking her fingers out of her ears. Artemis rolled his eyes and turned the music off. She looked relieved and put her hands down. "Now, then," said Artemis. "You never answered my question. You said we had to get me ready, but what do we have to get me ready for?" Holly looked at him as if he were a raving lunatic. "It's a beautiful day! Or should I say, 'a boo-tiful day!'" Artemis looked even more confused. "WHAT?" he said. Holly rolled her eyes. "It's Halloween, you idiot!" Artemis sighed. "That was a very bad pun," he told her. "That was the oldest pun in the book!" said Holly. He looked at her wryly. "Where's the book?" "It was an expression, dummy." "Who are you calling dummy and idiot?" asked Artemis. Then he sighed. "Oh, forget it. Now, what's this about Halloween?" "We have to get you ready for trick-or-treating. You know, costume and stuff." Artemis looked at her in disbelief. She showed no sign of kidding. "You can _not_ be serious," he said. She looked at him. Still no smile. That was not necessarily a bad sign, he reassured himself. "Oh, but I am," Holly told him. Still no sign of a smile. Great. That meant she was serious.

"Halloween?" he said. Holly nodded.

"I'm dead serious," she said, smirking. Artemis groaned. It was going to be a long day—or rather, a long night.


	2. Chapter 2: Wish All You Want

**Chapter Two: Wish All You Want**

"Okay," said Holly. "Now, which drawer would a t-shirt be in?"

Artemis looked at her blankly. "T-shirt."

"Uh-huh," Holly said. "That's what I said."

Artemis just stared incredulously. Holly sighed.

"Let me guess. You don't have any."

"Exactly," Artemis told her.

"Great. What about sweat pants?"

Artemis looked at her. "_Sweat pants_?"

Holly groaned. "You don't have those either, I take it."

"Geniuses don't wear sweat pants. Or t-shirts." He added, under his breath, "They don't go trick-or-treating either."

"Okay," said Holly. "So, I'll have to fix that. Get Butler for me, will ya?"

Artemis went over to an intercom and pressed the button. "Butler." The intercom didn't do anything (they would have been able to hear it all over the house if it had). Artemis sighed. "Great."

Holly grinned. "I'll fix that." She went over to the door and opened it. "BUTLER!" she shouted. Then she closed the door. Artemis stared at her in disbelief.

"That is not going to work. In this big house, there is no way that he will hear you."

The door burst open and Butler ran in. "What?" he said, panting. Artemis looked at him.

"But…how did you…" Artemis stuttered. Holly laughed.

"Butler was just down the hall." Then she turned to Butler. "Will you take me out shopping? I need to get Artemis some things."

Butler tried to answer, but Artemis interrupted. "Just a moment. I am going to go too. If you're getting my things, then I am definitely going."

Holly sighed. "Okay, but I warn you, you're not going to like the stuff I'm getting."

Artemis looked annoyed. "Oh? Just what are you getting?"

Holly looked at him. "Stuff for your Halloween costume." Butler snorted and tried hard to conceal his amusement at this. Artemis looked at Butler, now really annoyed.

"Purely her idea, I assure you. Now, Holly, I…"

Holly interrupted. "No, it's going to be a surprise. You stay here and…well, do whatever you do when you're alone. No criminal things, though. Do something constructive, like…um…painting. Or studying."

Artemis looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Studying? What, pray tell, should I study? What do I need to know more about?"

Holly sighed. "Okay, not studying, then. You try thinking of something."

"Now you know one of the reasons I do criminal things in the first place."

"Yeah, whatever. Don't now, though. I'll find out when we get back."

"Suppose I hide it?"

"I'll know, believe me. Now then, Butler, can you take me? I can't figure out your human cars, and besides, people would see me and think I was a child, and the police would come after me, and…well, anyway…"

Butler nodded. "Okay. Behave yourself, Artemis."

Artemis looked at him. "Ah…behave myself?"

Butler looked back. "Yes, behave yourself. You know, what Holly said."

Artemis sighed. "All right, old friend." He turned to Holly. "I really wish you weren't doing this, though."

Holly grinned. "Wish all you want, Mud Boy, you're not getting out of this."

Artemis' only answer was another groan. He had a feeling he would be doing that a lot today.


	3. Chapter 3: The Costume

**Chapter Three: The Costume**

"All right," said Holly, the minute she got back from the store. "Let's get this going. Here." She tossed him a bag. "Now, don't peek until you have it on. Let's see…how can I…ah-hah!" She reached into a pocket and brought out a little bottle. Then she carefully dripped it onto the full-length mirror that Artemis' mother had insisted on putting in his room, despite his protests that it took up too much space that could instead be used for technology. (She had also put in a huge oak wardrobe, which annoyed him very much, since it had no use except to sit there and look pretty.)

"I hope," said Artemis, "that…liquid is not permanent."

"No," Holly told him. "It's just one of Foaly's inventions. Mostly used for making water so it will reflect something other than what it normally would. Not used often, but you never know when you might need it."

"What exactly is it?"

"It's Reflect-Undo. Now," she said, "let's see. Um…come here, Artemis." Artemis came and stood in front of the mirror. Holly moved away. "Just stand there until I say it's okay," she instructed him. Artemis sighed, but stood. Holly counted under her breath. "4…3…2…1…okay, time's up. Now change." She left.

Artemis sighed. Perhaps there was a way to outsmart this mirror device. He examined it. Just then there was a knock at the door. "Come in!" he called. Holly stuck her head in.

"Oh, by the way," she said. "In case you're wondering, I used something else of Foaly's to change the appearance of the clothes, so you can't see them."

Artemis groaned. She had thought of everything, hadn't she? He made sure the door was closed and began to change. In a minute or two, he had the clothes, which looked like his usual Armani suit (although he was quite sure that was not what they were), on. He opened the door and got Holly, who was in the hall amusing herself by looking at pictures. "You were cute as a baby," she said, gesturing to one of them, which showed the family together. Artemis' cheeks got just a tiny tinge of pink in them, but he motioned her into the room.

"All right, so will you let me see this costume now?" he asked.

"No, not yet. I want to do a few things first. Close your eyes."

He closed them. After a second, he felt something sliding onto his feet. Shoes, he reasoned. Yet they felt…strange. Too big, somehow. Then, a minute later, he felt something cool on his face. _Great_, he thought. _She's painting my face._

Finally, she stepped away and looked at her handiwork, although of course Artemis didn't know that, since his eyes were still closed. "Perfect!" she exclaimed. "Now, keep your eyes closed for another minute while I alter the clothes and the mirror." She did so. Artemis could hear her moving across the room and doing something to the mirror, and then she came over and pushed a button on his back. "There," she said. "Okay, now I'm going to lead you to the mirror. Stand up." He stood up. She pushed him gently, and he stumbled forward until Holly told him to stop. "Okay, are you ready?" she said. He nodded. "All right. Open your eyes."

Artemis did, and was immediately shocked and horrified.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"


	4. Chapter 4: Surprise!

**Chapter Four: Surprise! **

"_Okay, are you ready?" she said. He nodded. "All right. Open your eyes."_

_Artemis did, and was immediately shocked and horrified._

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"_

Artemis screamed. He was…no, this was too awful to believe. His costume was a _clown!_

Holly laughed. "Like it?"

Artemis looked at her, his eyes wide, and showed his feelings for once. Horror, supreme, shocked, awful horror, registered on his face. "Like it?" he exclaimed. "I should say not! I am not a clown!"

Holly grinned. "Oh, but you will go trick-or-treating with me."

And he did. They went trick-or-treating, and Holly took him with her (after dressing up as a fairy, to avoid suspicion, she said, and so everyone would think she was his little sister, at which point he groaned and submitted). It worked just as planned, and when they finally came back, tired but happy (well, that was Holly, Artemis was just tired), Artemis expected to be able to go right to sleep, and showed Holly to a guest room. But she said no, there was one more thing they had to do.

Artemis moaned. "What _now_? You've woken me up early, bought me some totally unnecessary clothes that I will likely never wear again, and made a fool of me by making me go out in public dressed as a clown. What else could there possibly _be_?"

Holly smiled mischievously. "Well, let's see. I've woken you up early, bought you some totally unnecessary clothes that you will likely never wear again, and made a fool of you by making you go out in public dressed as a clown. Okay, there's one thing left to do."

"And what might that be?" he inquired, steeling himself for jack-o-lantern carving or something else just as bad.

"Well," Holly told him. "We have to eat some candy. It's traditional."

Artemis made a face, but at least that was better than what he had already done.

"All right, fine. Just one piece. I hate candy."

Holly sighed, but agreed. "Okay, fine. One piece. I'll leave the rest with you to do what you like with."

"No, please take it to Foaly or someone."

"All right. Foaly will like it. He likes Mud Man stuff."

Artemis reached into his bag (since he was playing the role of older brother, Holly had carried the plastic pumpkin container and he had used a brown bag, thank goodness) and pulled out a piece of candy. There was one problem, though. It was a lollipop. He pulled out another one. They were all lollipops.

"Um, Holly?" he said. "These are all…well, anyway…I think we accidentally switched bags or something."

"No," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"They're all like that."

"Why?" he said.

She looked at him in astonishment. "Don't you know?"

"No."

"You were a good boy."


End file.
